1. A Dachshund will steal your bed – all of it, no matter how tiny they are.
2. They will make you spend all your money on cute outfits. Aww look a puppy cow!
3. They will not win any races for you.
4. You’ll never guess if they have done something wrong with that innocent face.
5. Their paws will be all over your laptop if you don’t have a secure password.
6. Gluttony is their favourite sin.
7. Good luck cooking anything yummy. It’ll be gone when your back is turned.
8. Their innocent puppy dog eyes will turn you into their puppet.
9. You’ll be none the wiser if they invade your closet.
10. They will call their cop friends on you if you don’t obey their commands.
11. And don’t even try to outrun them because Dachshunds can fly.
12. Sometimes, they will allow you to dress them up in silly sweaters so you’ll trust them a little more. But there’s no telling what they’ll be up to next.